Sunflower seeds for the fairest...

I spent exactly 2 hours in a bus after work, stuck in the CTE. Crawl..? shamble? dwadle? To be honest I can't think of a word to describe the seemingly interminable ride. As the bus inched, I imagine how the same traffic in Bangalore must have had everyone honk, somehow with a conviction that, louder the wail, faster the traffic in front evaporates. This, I mention to Chandni, who is also with me in the bus. She is on her way to catch the last day of the show - My Fair Lady at the local cultural center. She had booked ticket earlier this afternoon after hours of both mental and vocal delibration on the choices. The choices being MFL, El Divo and Hoobastank. She sort my advice ofcourse but regretted it. I adviced her against such frivolous spendings.

"If you sort true entertainment then you should spend it on true stars! Like me.", I explained.

The bus drove us crazy. It is 18:40 hours and the show begins at 20:00 hours. It has been over 30 mins since we boarded it - on a normal day by this time we should have reached the cultural center. Chandni is sceptical that she would make it on time. I am baffled at her concern and ask her to be more optimistic. I try and distract her but she's busy making calls to find out if she can cancel her reservations. The lady on the other end sounds cheerful.

"Yes, how can I be of help, Madam?" she chrips.

"I have been stuck in traffic for the past hour or so. Can I have my reservation cancelled please?" Chandni explains.

"No, sorry. It is against our policy. We never cancel reservations once the are made"The lady retorts.

"But that's ridiculous! I will not be able to attend the show. Why would I want to pay for the show when I am unable to attend it?

"You can attend the second half of the show if you are late"

"Will I then need to pay just half the price?"

"No, you will still need to pay the full price."

"Can you please cancel it? I don't think I can make it on time. It is awful as it is that I am going to have to miss it"

"You could get off the bus and take a cab"

"I am on the highway!"

"Then wait for the next busstop"

"I am in BUS that hasnt moved in 20 minutes!. Can you please cancel my reservation?

"No I can't."

"Then can I speak to someone else who can?"

"Please hold."

and with some audacity she hangs up! A infuriated Chandni calls back again. No response.

I explain to her that she is panicing for no reason. She reminds me to check my watch. I do. It is 19:10 hours and we must have moved some 20 metres. I am still optimistic. A new lady on the other side of the line this time, out of huge consideration, plays Beethoven for Chandni instead of hanging up on her. The clock for no reason reads 19:40 hours and we seem to have passed another street light. It dawns on me that she won't be there on time. After several controversies, sweet-talk, mockery and cajoling Chandni manages to get her 160 dollar ticket cancelled.

She is still upset. I bid her goodbye and get off the bus at my stop partially guilty for having kept her waiting for me unnecessarily at work before we had left. I was meeting Gun and Naidu for gift shopping for our friends' wedding. Gun has several other purchases to make. Somehow, confusing me to notepad he rattles out the things he needs to buy. Shoe laces, souvenirs, battery for his watch, shaving cream,....

"I need sunflower seeds" interrupts Naidu. Apparently, his trainer has adviced him so. I remind them that they were here to shop for their friends. With my amazing time management skills and some curses from the other shoppers (whose directions we solely depended on in that huge mall), we manage a gold coin, sunflower seeds, cheese, shoe lace and souvenirs. We also, in the process, somehow manage to loose Gun. With a compulsion in our minds that we could not possibly miss such a huge mass of body, we dont use our handphones to call him to find out where he was. I even say this aloud, only to
walk right into him. He makes a face and ignores my lewd remark.

The lace he was looking for were out of stock. Gun decides to check some shoes instead. Naidu thinks its' time to leave and says "Lets hussle"

Gun says,"Why?"

Loud music in the background of some 70s Hindi songs.

I say,"Since its late"

Gun says,"So why whistle?"

I say,"Hussle! Not whistle!"

Naidu says, "That is what I said!"

I say, "Thats enough! Yes, now lets go!"

There is this lady with her mate behind us in the crowd trying to move out as well. Naidu thinks she is the prettiest he has seen in the mall.

We overhear her say to her friend,"My aunt was here na? She doesn't know English. So..."

I whisper to Naidu,"I think shes mistaken 'English' to be a person.....I tell you shes pretty but is super dudds"

Naidu, obviously smitten must have surely heard, "Sunflower seeds"