Tuesday, July 13

Solace for soul without a partner.

Having come out of a relationship recently, on one hand I feel like life has come to a pause and on the other there is a sense of relief. While the former is widely expected and accepted in any social landscape, the latter is something which I am compelled to explain. My new sense of freedom arises from knowing that you are no longer hurting the other person and neither party is trapped in the heavy bounds of love. Although, ironically love was the heart of reason to get together in the first place.

But is love that hurting? Is its quest a fatal addiction that you yearn for and cant have enough of and yet secretively deep down you despite? Abraham Lincoln's parenting's skills preached, "Love is the chain whereby to lock a child to its parents". Then, why do teenagers who have the luxury to bask in their parents' love want to fight it and choose freedom with a determination that matches a bud wanting to bloom?

Is this the curse of love or is it some hypnotic spell on a few who are never content with the love they receive and loose themselves finding it? Some get lucky to find it at a young age. Falling in love in the early 20s has its own benefits. It more or less leads to matrimony, then it leads to having kids and then the usual traditional vicious circle of growing old together. Escape in this cycle is almost never an option. Greener or lovelier, you do not cross the fence to taste any forbidden fruit. There is a social structure that surrounds you which you are answerable to and helplessly do the right things as you are expected to. Even so, if by chance, you strayed - you walk right back to where home is and are the participant of forgive-and-forget-and-happily-ever-after story pledging and renewing vows.

On the other hand, if you aren't that lucky to find love in the early sections of life, then you settle for more compromising relationships in all shapes and forms - short-term, open, affair, live-in and all such that fall shorter in the eyes of the prude and unforgiving society. As a social dissident you move from one relationship to another on your own with a heart as light as a butterfly that is unsettling, unhappy, ever-searching and lost. The older it gets the more demanding and impatient it is to let anyone close to it, for it has tasted the forbidden fruit of independence which makes one follow helplessly to its selfish desires.

There is a single distinction though between the two groups. The pressure to be in line with the convention can let the steam off in form of mid-life crisis to the content heart which eventually gets tired of the domestic routine and demands compensation. The ever-so-lonely heart on the other hand, although lost and found multiple times, exercises resilience which it has taught itself from the lessons it had learnt on its own, unguided by the pillars of the time-honoured views and beliefs.

If you are reading this and are single and seeking, I cannot guarantee that you will have the family abode with a lawn and grandchildren to fuss over but I am sure that you will make your way to find your own place of peace one day, no matter how tumultuous your heart presently is.


Anonymous said...

It's very revealing of what u feel...
well written and full of hope.
Hope you find what you're looking for! =)

Anonymous said...

Insightful and nicely written buddy, as usual. And true about the baggage imposed on a relationship by society and all the expectations. At the end of the day, I guess it's all about being fulfilled within, then it doesn't matter which of the two categories you are in :)

Anonymous said...

I hope you find your place of peace and contentment. I am confident that I will find mine, even though I am older.